My Blog

Once when I was in India during the summer, the heat…the heat that disturbed the feet on dry grounds, the same heat that blinded the eye, the same heat that distrupted the electricity, Alas the period called Agni Nakshatra had begun, the star of the fire god. Indeed the fury of Agni could be felt through out the nights. Sometimes I had no choice but to open the windows…Across my room in Thiruvarur, was a huge paddy field…An old and huge banyan tree grew outside the window, the Banyan was so huge that the grounds below the tree could shelter 15 to 20 people, with lovely roots that children made swings out of,underneath the tree was a Shivalinga,so the tree brought in the smell of jasmine flowers and incense into my room which was on the 2 floor. My grandmother once told me, the Banyan tree holds the spirit of lost souls which is why in Malay you have the term Buniyan which means ghost, and also its the resting place for Shiva…the god of destruction. So at night when the window was opened, the plane dry paddy fields of the summer blew a cool wind through,like the howl of a sad soul, just last week in the village across the paddy field…a young woman had committed suicide. I would off the lights, and the moon would spread a sheet with the stars…The Banyan tree swayed gentlely and an owl flew into the arms of the Banyan tree,downstairs, the houseowner was sitting on a swing,I knew because the creaking came through the walls. With a ciggaratte in the hand I looked out the window. I was not really afraid of the Banyan or the darkness that enveloped the paddy fields. I remembered what harm could a spirit do that man has not…the cool wind blew and dried my sweat…I was alone in the huge house with only a banyan tree that creeped through my window as a friend…the excistense of reality and all its present metafore didnt seem to matter then…so I spread a mat and allowed the lulling sounds of the lost souls to put me to sleep…reminding me that Agni was here to stay throughout the summer months.

The talking Sin, indeed food has become the forbidden sin NO! The pleasureable sin that seems to speak to me…the cheese blue berry tart in the dining room is calling me badly to make love to it…ooo to sink my teeth deep into its utterly comforting presence, the sweet sugary syrupy sin!! no ! I bet Eve didnt have it this bad in the Garden of Eden..I mean I would have give Adam a blue berry tart if it came from a tree and if the salesman was a snake…I mean its sexy and you get to be shy about being naked and guess what…we will patch kids who will soon destroy the world!and make computers

No!! now the buns have started an orchestra…ooo wait do I hear a single note from each egg biscuit! The keropok is doing free style, the Ikan Bilis Sambal in the fridge is rapping, and the Sausages are pretending to be Beyonce…!!! GOd have mercy on my soul…Where are the tomatoes and celery…!!!

You all must be wondering why this sudden description of a world of food…"well the time has come the Walrus said to talk about many things"…Food! dear food…FUcking delicious food, a Cream bun is better then getting fucked but the result wont get you fucked…a sacrifice for one to get another…running, starving and trying to be decent about 3 meals seems to be most Difficult act for this Diva…yes I love my fats, HEll I wobble them in the morning for me to see …I became fat so that I wanna see myself Fat again…but Im getting bored of the Fat Bitch in the mirror…Im ranting…forgive me…but my nipples arent happy about my shoulders and their affair with stretch marks…so I have started losing and burning..My fats that is…Alas…Wait! The Friend chicken in the fridge is doing the last encore. I wish I had a fly swapper….Id smash all these imaginary food quartet…but I know one thing…I wanna have those slim hips so "someone can hold them and try to kiss me", I wanna have that broad shoulders so I can wear my tight black tshirts with their long sleeves, I wish my Momma bought an instant lipo machine, Nah I rather burn them by running. I wanna be a sexy Diva…the whole Queen Latifah Cum Oprah Winfrey look is soo last century…Beyonce is coming HOME BABY!!!

P/S: This blog entry is a self confession by a Keling Geisha…plz disregard it…it is a mere beautification of the Midnight Hunger Pangs…

Love,

Hantu Lapar Diva

I have been doing alot of thinking and I have finally decided that perhaps I too should start blogging…perhaps it might just turn out to be a phase…like that time that I decided to become a staunch vegetarian, or when I decided that the world was black…wait! I think several phases do go on for a longer period or have a relapse…

Mei Fen is currently trying to take a bath in the bathroom, she has decided to spend the night here…*sigh I do believe I too should purify myself with water due to the fact that too long a period was spent in the presence of Arabians (no offense) in Berjaya Times Square…What has the world come to, we saw this whole Budaya show which acctually looked like a cheap hooker movement in Hong Kong…no im not kidding, there was one show with a huge chinese woman in the middle (god bless her soul) and 4 ugly patrons to accompany her on her journey towards finishing a dance sequence…The Horror….The horror…then Chinese New Year decided to come early, 6 unfortunate little chinese girls were dancing on the stage, I call it child abuse…Brandon Lee decided at that moment he shall consider himself a Japanese…being a CHinese then would have destroyed watever dignity he has stored for himself…all I have to say is that…all Races have their own embarassing moments…Look at us indians…we run around wearing purple jeans with horrible striped rainbow shirts and STILL we consider them straight….WOw! Indians dont need a Huge broadway show in Times Square to show off their racial disgrace….Well I tried to help Mei Fen give out flyers…we ended up throwing them on people before warming our royal arses on a luxurious rock looking across Sungai Wang and bitching. Nadeem was fuming because I didnt come for his dance today afternoon, yes! I was fashionably late…make that 3 hours late…Im sorry but the Diva needs rest…Cucumbers were sooo last century…anyway I have ranted abit too much…I hope people could get back to me on my first blogging your comments are most welcome as long as their in private….or else Id have to throw my Egg Tarts on all of you…*snap *snap *snap