My Blog

My dears,

It has been sometime since I last updated this wretched space! Nevertheless it is raining in Melbourne and many emotions are conjured and we start basking in them. Alas! Is not self sadism a part of every ice cream eating individual emotion? (Too Deep) Lets become a little light or a little Mariah headed.

I can’t and I shan’t ! I am here to write EXCACTLY WHAT I WANT TO WRITE! FUCK you Sarah! I am going to be an emo…black nailpolish and all.

I am a little homesick…then again I always call home. But last night Ramana decided to call me but my phone decided to fuck me. Sooner or later people have to realize that the sexual relationship between my battery and my phone have lost several sparks. BITCH dies out on me whenever I need it ! Soon I will have to find a shoe box, wear my best black clothes from the factory warehouse and host a burial for my nokia. I am losing track of what I wanted to say…

When the phone beeped its last, I suddenly felt very alone. That void haunts me, I feel like deranged refugee trying to shit in a flushable toilet then talk to his relative in Sudan. It is almost the same feeling I get (the loneliness not the shit) everytime Lekha goes offline after work. God ! I miss both of you. It is a strange feeling, like a silent rather hollow statement that your brain refuses to accept. Winter is a time for mouring, so is rain. Unlike Malaysia’s tropical rain, Melbourne’s rain is an aneroxic French model. Slim, slightly irritating and very cold. It is times like this that I close my eyes and go back into memories. Sometimes we only remember the small subliminal things that remind us of sunnier statements. For me, my dear PUKI MAKS, is many a thousands! Comforting me n lulling me to bed in  Mat Salleh’s country.

Last night I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Like a non drug induced Ketamine/Pill trip, I was transported back to Paandi at 7pm. Ramana’s car broke down at the side of the road, Lekha and I went over to see the fuss. Before I know what is happening, Ram puts a sign in front of his car and decides to have a mock fight with me and Lekha. WTF were you thinking? and the police comes to enquire pluz a thousand cars decide to take a break and see the drama…yes, a normal day in KL. Either that or some other ridicilous escapade that ends up disastrous but unwillingly educational otherwise it enters the (DONT EVER DO THAT AGAIN) list.

We never realize what we have until we are taken away from it. I never acctually thought about it until Ram called yesterday. Sometimes I feel I avoid Ram and Lekha’s calls because the more I think of you, the more I miss you, the more I miss you, the weaker I become, the weaker I become, the more I miss you. And this Aussie piss rain is not helping either ! Get me a Star Trek tele porter and send me home for awhile…for just one drink and a smoke; maybe some Mary J to last the car ride.

With love,

Ishwar